Property Damage
by KaeBird13
Summary: This, Dick thought to himself as he savagely tugged the apron strings behind his back and began to tie, was all Wally's fault. He could picture the news headlines, '"Would You Like Fries with That?" Even Robins need jobs! Does this Spell the End for the Dynamic Duo' or, after an accident the team gets roped into helping out at a local burger joint.


(A/N): A quick thing I wrote for a friend, who wanted heroes doing civilian things while in their costumes. Sorry, Amy~ I couldn't resist one little jab at country music ;)

* * *

This, Dick thought to himself as he savagely tugged the apron strings behind his back and began to tie, was all Wally's fault. One hundred percent, completely and totally Wally's fault. No blame to be shared around. Dick was going to get murdered and then he was going to come back to haunt Wally's sorry butt. From the way Wally was innocently looking anywhere but Dick and Conner, the speedster knew it too.

"Okay," Carlton Alderon, the manager of _Georgie's Burgers and Shakes_ handed Dick a black ballcap with the restaurant's logo emblazoned on the front. Dick tried his best not to glare at the overweight man whose beard was little more than patches of red fur spread randomly across his chin. It was one of the benefits of wearing his mask, he supposed, that Mr. Alderon missed the venomous glare Dick sent his way as he took the hat and rammed it on his head with a huff. The only benefit of being in full costume in the middle of the day, right smack-dab in the center of Happy Harbor.

So yeah, Bruce was going to murder him and when he died he was going to make sure that Wally's toilets never flushed properly ever again.

"Robin," Mr. Alderon said with a sarcastic lit to the word. Half the employees and customers in the small burger joint thought that the group of weirdly dressed teenagers were cosplayers a long way from the con, the other half were excitedly snapping pictures with their phones. Dick could picture the news headlines, " _Would You Like Fries with That?" Even Robins need jobs! Does this Spell the End for the Dynamic Duo?_ "You're up front taking orders. Remember, always have a smile and thank the customer after every transaction. And please, for the love of god, do not turn any of our customers into super villains."

Wally snickered at that and Dick shot him a look that promised a swift and painful revenge. "Yes, sir." He replied politely, masking his anger and humiliation. This definitely was not what he was planning to do with his Saturday afternoon.

"And you, Boy Flash," Mr. Alderton turned on the amused red head. Wally's face melted into a mixture of resentment and irritation. Dick barked out a laugh and stuck his tongue out at Wally behind the manager's back.

"Kid Flash!"

"Whatever. You're on fries. Do _not_ let them overcook, ya hear me? And you, Superman wannabe, start flipping burgers."

Conner's face darkened. "It's _Superboy_." His hands formed fists and both Dick and Wally sent him warning glances. The clone took a deep breath in and looked longingly to the front of the restaurant. "Can't I go help the others rebuild? I'm strong, I would be more useful out there than in here."

Mr. Alderon snorted like Conner was the world's best comedian. " _Hell no._ You're the one who smashed my tables, there ain't no way I'm lettin ya near them now. It's either sweeping the floor or flipping burgers. Your choice, Mr. Strong Man."

With a scowl, Conner snatched the spatula out of Mr. Alderon's hands and stormed off to the burger station.

"And fer the love of Saint Mary, put on hair nets, the lot of you! Don't want any of these good customers ingesting any of yer DNA and mutating on me!"

Dick blinked up at him, disappointed that his mask hid his large, owlish eyes. "But I don't have any superpowers."

"Hair. Net." The manager ground out. "Now get to work! Yall have a debt that won't be paid by standing and dallying around!"

Oh his vengeance on Wally was going to be agony for the older boy. Dick turned and stood behind one of the cash registers, watching warily as another camera flashed. "Welcome to Georgie's Burgers and Shakes!" Dick spoke the words that had been pounded into his skull by Mr. Alderon minutes before. His smile was plastered on, his teeth bared in more of a grimace than a grin. "What can I get for you today?"

A teenager who was probably only two years older than Wally stepped up with his girlfriend glued to his hip. His face was slack and awestruck, while the girl looked sceptical. "Uh... Wow, are you really Robin? Like Batman and Robin? That Robin?"

No, he was obviously Wonder Woman. "Yes I am. What can I get for you today?" He repeated his question, hoping to steer the conversation back to greasy burgers and fries.

The guy shook his head and gaped. "Wow, Robin. And those guys out there, are they sidekicks too? I mean, I think one of them is Aqualad, but I don't recognize the girls."

Dick swallowed down a growl. "We're actually not sidekicks, we're-" The manager cleared his throat from where he was watching Dick like a hawk. "Absolutely sidekicks. All of us, heroes in training. So, what would you like to order?"

The girl scoffed and shrugged off the dude's arm from around her shoulders. "He's not Robin, James. Robin lives in Gotham. He's just a fanboy; besides, his costume isn't even that good."

"Excuse me?" Dick sputtered before he could stop himself. "Not that good? My cape is made from reinforced-"

"Robin _,_ "

"Can I recommend the ranch burger? I hear it's fantastic. I've never had it myself, never eaten here actually, but-"

" _Robin,_ "

"Should I put you down for two number threes? Okay, cool. And diet cokes to drink? Not that you need diet anything, especially if you're eating here."

Ten minutes later, Dick was pulling crispy yellow fries out of boiling oil and shoving them into paper cups while Wally wore the cap and flirted with customers. Another employee, whose nametag read Jennifer, reached over and changed the radio station playing softly in the back. The obnoxious drawls of country music started and Dick briefly entertained the idea of braining himself on the wall. Today was going to be a long, long day.

* * *

He had actually been looking forward to today. The Wayne Industries branch in Happy Harbor was scheduled for its annual review and Bruce decided to attend the meeting, though he technically did not have to. Dick had begged to come with him and hang out at the mountain while Bruce was in his meeting. Afterwards Bruce said they could go to the beach and get ice cream. A quick text to Wally insured that his best friend would be there too.

With the entire team there, Kaldur had suggested running through some training exercises. Dick changed into his uniform and proceeded to kick butt during the agility drill. Wally, not thinking it though, had challenged everyone to a bet before the drill. Whoever did it the fastest got a pizza to themselves for lunch. The slowest had to buy the pizza. To make things fair for the rest, Dick had quickly been excluded from the contest. Artemis ended up winning, leaving Conner to foot the bill. Which kinda sucked, seeing as he actually didn't have any money.

While the others had been arguing over who would actually buy the pizza for lunch, Dick had punched out a quick text to Bruce and got permission to put it on his card. M'gann, Conner, and Kaldur were shrugging helplessly and Artemis was vehemently defending her championship excluding her from the bill when Dick silently passed his credit card to Wally. Giving him a faint nod of understanding, the speedster had declared that he would go out and buy the pizza.

That's where this whole mess started.

It had taken them all a second to realize after Wally had streaked away, that he had left in his costume. They had agreed on a slightly nicer pizza place with some of the best pizza Dick had ever tasted. Unfortunately, you also had to wait for your pizza. It would be really strange if somebody saw Kid Flash outside of Central City patiently waiting for his pizza order. Cursing, Dick pinged him on the comms and chased after him.

Also in his uniform.

Okay, so it might be also partially his fault.

M'gann had ran after Conner, who was chasing Kaldur, who was trying to stop Artemis, who had followed after Dick. They had made it into the heart of Happy Harbor when Wally had realized his mistake and turned back. They met up at a cute little family-owned burger joint, the kind with little tables outside so that people could enjoy their grease traps in the heat of the sun. 'Met up' was putting it mildly, however.

Wally and Conner shared a moment and chest bumped in their excitement to see each other again.

They crashed, in other words. Quite spectacularly too. Might have broken a couple of tables... or all the tables. The manager had stormed out, red faced and jaw clenched and demanded they pay him for damages. Bruce told him he could buy enough pizza to satisfy Wally, but Dick doubted he would appreciate paying a couple thousand for property damage. Also, people might wonder what _Robin_ was doing with _Bruce Wayne's_ credit card.

Kaldur, ever the good level-head leader had negotiated; the team would work in the restaurant and rebuild tables in exchange for Mr. Alderon not calling the police. So here they were, watching the hours of their lazy Saturday afternoon tick by as the burger joint flooded with more customers than it had seen in three years.

Dick started a new batch of french fries as Jennifer started singing along to an old Taylor Swift song. Stupid french fries. Stupid country music. Stupid Wally. His stomach rumbled, they never got their pizzas.

"Kid Flash! Can I get your picture?"

"Not right now, sweet thing, but my shift ends in two hours."

Conner stopped by Dick and grabbed a large fry to put on a tray with a burger. His scowl had grown more prominent the hours they had been stuck here. If this went on much longer, he may never be able to move his mouth again. "I am going to kill him."

Dick grunted in agreement. "I'll help you hide the body. Trust me, nobody will be able to find him. Hey Supes, Jennifer and I were planning a strike, wanna join?"

The other worker, who looked to be in her early twenties with blonde hair pulled back into a bun, rolled her eyes. "No we weren't."

"Don't be like that, Jennifer! It would be fun."

"Mr. Strong Man!" Carlton Alderon hollered. "I'm not paying you to gossip with your buddy! Git that order over here!"

Conner growled and grabbed another fry. "He's not even paying us!"

Dick fluttered his eyelashes, a technique that was nullified by the mask hiding his eyes as Conner stomped off. "Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. Aren't you tired of being yelled at? Look at this place; it smells like my gym socks and I highly doubt you're being paid nearly as much as you should be. Come on, let's plan a strike. I bet I could even get Ben to join in."

Jennifer slapped down a bun and rolled her eyes once more. "I would get fired before you could say 'holy layoffs, Batman!'. Some of us actually need this job, Robin."

Really? He had been _nine_ for god's sake. Were people ever going to let that go? "Ouch, Jennifer, that hurt. I thought we were friends."

Whatever Jennifer was going to say in response to that was cut off by a surprised cry from Wally. Dick looked over as the front door to the restaurant closed behind two men and felt his blood freeze in his veins. Voices were hushed as a sheepish Barry Allen and a straight faced multi-billionaire, most eligible bachelor, prince of Gotham, yada yada, Bruce Wayne stepped into line.

"Uncle-!" Wally started and then snapped his mouth closed. "I mean, uncle uncle! I give up! If I take one more order I'm going to go insane." He turned and gave Dick the biggest, most honest grin. "Robin, want to give taking orders another go?"

He pulled off the cap and plucked Dick's hairnet off his head, trading him. "Your end is nigh," Dick warned. Wally gave him a pouty face in return.

He dealt with seven more customers, his stomach twisting as his guardian drew ever closer to the front of the line. Maybe if he got lucky, Bruce would be shuffled to the other cashier, Ben. Would that really be too much to ask?

Right, he knew the answer to that question. Dick gulped slightly as Bruce loomed above him, ready to take his order. "Wel-welcome to Georgie's Burgers and Shakes!" He said with a dry mouth, feeling like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "What can I get for you today?"

"Robin," Bruce said smoothly with a crooked grin. Dick, who was usually so good at reading his mentor's emotions, had no clue what was going on in Bruce's mind right now. "It's weird seeing a fellow Gothamite this far out. Is Batman here too? Our very own vigilante saved one of my technology shipments the other day and I would love to personally thank him."

He was _soooooo_ grounded. Chuckling nervously, Dick tried his best to lower his heart rate. He could see Conner eyeing him suspiciously. "Nope, no Batman here. Just me, hanging out with my fellow... sidekicks..."

"Those kids out there, they look like they're building picnic tables. Are they apart of your group of friends too?" Bruce asked casually. Carlton Alderon, who went from grumpy to panicked the moment that Bruce walked in the door practically skipped to Dick's side.

"There was a small accident, and these lovely kiddos agreed to work to pay off certain damages," Mr. Alderon wrung his hands together, playing up the nice manager act. A complete 360 from his attitude ten minutes before.

Bruce nodded understandingly. "Are you the manager? How much longer before these children repay their debt to you?"

The way Bruce rolled the word children off his tongue had Mr. Alderon squirming and tugging at his shirt collar. "Well, about two more hours, sir."

Dick wanted to chuckle but kept quiet. On one hand, he wanted nothing more to escape this place - he had hamburger grease in his _hair_ and oil stains on his uniform sleeves - on the other, he knew that as soon as he was free Bruce was going to drag him back to the manor by his ear.

"How about I pay off whatever money they still owe you and you let them go." His eyes slid to Dick. "I'm also going to buy them all meals, if you would."

Dick's stomach growled in appreciation. Mr. Alderon licked his lips and nodded vigorously. "Of course sir, Mr. Wayne! Anything for you!"

Sounded like Carlton had a bit of a crush to Dick.

The manager turned around to the back. "Flash Kid, Mr. Strong Man! You're all done here. Take off your aprons and go!"

Wally let out a delighted whoop and Conner almost ripped his apron in his haste to get it off. Dick sent a sly look Bruce's way and his guardian shook his head. Oh well, he was already grounded anyway.

"You're firing us?" Dick gasped in his most betrayed tone. "After all I've done for this company? All the hard work I've put into this place? It means nothing?"

Carlton drew his lips up in confusion. Jennifer held up her hand. "Robin was planning a strike."

Ignoring her, Dick continued. "You can't fire me! Not if I quit first!" With that, he tore off the hat and threw it on the counter.

Bruce sighed.

Long Saturday afternoon indeed.


End file.
